Dealing with negative feedback
I am finding one of the most difficult things as I am preparing for this experiment is dealing with negative feedback and disbelief. Yet again yesterday, an old friend (who is on the Marc’s life list and therefore aware of what’s going on) called and left a message, and I am dreading talking to him (perhaps I am being paranoid and he just called to say hi, but I am a bit “full” on negative feedback right now). The problem is compounded by the fact that having just lost my job, our finances are in a critical state, and I also have a tendency towards hypomania that is well-known by my friends.
Rebekah has suggested that I just tell everybody that I am having a midlife crisis and that what I am doing about it is much cheaper than buying a Porsche and taking an 18-year old girlfriend. I did attempt to answer my critics in my latest post, which I thought of putting out to the “Marc’s life” list, but decided against as I still have a bit too much emotional charge around it and liable to come across as defensive. I will just quickly say two things though. That our finances are in a critical situation is an objective fact, but not so much that I can’t take a couple of slow weeks to try an experiment that could radically change my life and possibly double my income and happiness (Steven Covey calls this “sharpening the saw”). I do intend to get some work done, and I have a couple small consulting gigs, but it won’t be a priority. And with regards to hypomania – perhaps it is so, but I have been deliriously happy now for over 4 months (not an emotion that I am accustomed to incidentally), and this exceeds in duration any normal DSM-IV hypomania. I am just plain happy as I am watching my life grow and develop beyond my wildest expectations. This experiment is a part of that.
Anyway, the “rubber hits the road” very shortly, and this conversation will become moot. I am very happy to be writing a blog that nobody reads – there is something kind of freeing in that. I have promised myself, in any case, to stay quiet on the “Marc’s life” list until I am done with this – I really cannot bear any more negative feedback at this stage in the cycle.
Moving on…
I had a cup of tea this morning, but that is going to be my last caffeine for a very long time, I hope. I am going to need to be quite vigilant for the first month of this experiment, and caffeine is absolutely out.
I think the success factors for polyphasic sleep, and Uberman’s in particular, are still incompletely understood, but I have poured over Steve Pavlina’s posts and others and I am getting a pretty consistent message. It is essential to eat a healthy diet and be in a generally good physical and emotional state before beginning. And, its quite acceptable to take extra naps, provided they be no longer than 30 minutes and no less than 1 1/2 to 2 hours spaced apart. Pavlina took as many as 2 extra naps a day during adaptation, and he knew that he was on to something big by day 5. Lastly, motivation – polyphasic sleep is the best solution I’ve come up with to support my family and still have a life. This isn’t a game, this is psychic survival for me. If I have to continue on the 9-5 much longer I think I’ll go nuts, and unlike Steve Pavlina I can’t spend my entire day writing, networking, and conducting experiments in consciousness. If the experiment fails, I will surely find some other solution, but so far this is the best idea I’ve come across in a very long time.
And by the way, I have now removed almost all references to this site from my main blog. I don’t want to be “found out”, especially by potential employers (my main blog is bad enough…).
More preparation…
And so, the next few days are going to be heavily-focused on taking good care of myself and relaxing. I will be learning more about the raw foods diet, getting a lot of exercise and sunshine (the weather co-operating), and spending time with my loved ones. I am also preparing in other ways – I still don’t know how alert I am going to be or how much actual work I will be able to do, but I have set aside a corner of the living room for my new “night office” (right next to the gas fireplace – the day office won’t work), and upgraded my computer for some serious studying. I truly hope that that I will find a way to make my living at night-time, during the dead time when I can’t talk to anyone anyway, and that work will not occur as such a chore.
Ok then – all for today. Time to catch-up on email. It’s 3:30am, I feel myself polyphasic already :-)
